Here we see ASH (alternate spelling ASh), an 8-month-old red tabby full of mayhem—good mayhem. Except on those occasions when he refuses to open the pod bay doors...

(His owner, Randall, sent us two emails in succession in early April, the second with full specs for his 2.8 GHz Core 2 Duo MacBook Pro. We think he may have done this with the hope that we could find a way to wrest control of the computer from ASH before it was too late. Unfortunately, six months have now gone by with no further communication from Randall or ASH. We fear the worst.)